sweet 'n lo.

The 95th Floor

2012-02-12T21:48:00.000-06:00

since we won't be able to see each other on valentine's day, A and i celebrated this weekend by going to cafe ba ba reeba, where we went on our first date. their tapas are super tasty and i don't think i ate anything i didn't like! then we went to the 95th floor of the john hancock building. i live less than a mile away from the john hancock and have been in the chicagoland area my whole life, but i've never been there. it was such a beautiful view. we could definitely see my apartment from the 95th floor, which was amazing. i was like a little kid, all excited and giggly. there's no place like chicago...the skyline is beautiful and the lights are breathtaking. it was cool to see the stream of cars on 90/94 and we also saw the brown line. oh yes, and the martinis on the 95th floor are delicious too. damn my asian intolerance to alcohol...

butternut squash & cheese toast, kale & apple salad

the signature room...stupid blurry pic.

drinks & lights.

hello from the 95th floor!

cauliflower

2012-01-24T15:28:00.003-06:00

J: if we die, do you know how weird it will look that we both have a head of cauliflower on us?

3:19 PM I: omg

i am LOLing

3:20 PM J: the girls who died with cauliflower

3:21 PM I: omg

hilarity

J: :D

I: that sounds like a good title for something

i like it a lot

J: yea the title of our obituaries

I: OH GOD

dont say that

omg

i am imagining

our dead bodies on michigan

and cauliflower rolling around

3:23 PM omg...

frosty weekend!

2012-01-22T21:45:00.002-06:00

On Friday, we got out of work early because of the snow storm. I was in a meeting, so I actually stayed a little late. By the time my meeting ended, I called A to tell him I was leaving work and he told me to just stay there for 10 more minutes. "I'm on Illinois and Michigan...I'm coming to get you." He took the Metra from the burbs to Chicago and then couldn't catch a cab so he walked from Ogilvie to my work so I wouldn't have to go to the burbs by myself. What a sweetie!! =)

there was a lot of snowww.

we tried to make donuts with ghost and bat cookie cutters.

24

2012-01-16T23:57:00.000-06:00

i turned 24 on saturday. i feel like the past year has been really good. friends have remarked that i changed a lot in 2011, and it's completely true. i've loosened up a bit more and have opened up to a lot of new experiences and the return has been a lot of good memories with good people. i'm happy with my life. i'm happy with the decisions i have made.

the best friends a girl could ask for.

this pic makes me smile.

thanks, friends, for an unforgettable birthday. =)

a good day

2011-12-26T21:40:00.001-06:00

muppets movie + joy yees + taro bubble tea + uncle buck + chubby bunny + s'mores over the kitchen stove + snuggles + homemade alfredo.

mmmm s'mores! =P

december 2011 playlist

2011-12-22T00:44:00.004-06:00

elton john - don't go breaking my heart

elton john - bennie and the jets

the morning benders - excuses

tlc - waterfalls

she & him - sweet darlin'

she & him - i was made for you

taylor swift - today was a fairytale

oasis - wonderwall

bright eyes - first day of my life

demi lovato - skyscraper

dinah washington - what a difference a day makes

guys & dolls - if i were a bell

guys & dolls - i've never been in love before

taylor swift - fearless

florence + the machine - dog days are over

taylor swift - jump then fall

bruce springsteen - fire

jessie j - domino

damien rice - the blower's daughter

bruno mars - it will rain

kelly clarkson - stronger

alicia keys - a woman's worth

lil wayne - how to love

the smiths - please, please, please let me get what i want

a very nice weekend

2011-12-19T01:17:00.000-06:00

del seoul + molly's cupcakes + nap + john barleycorn + berlin + waiting in line forever for food at 3 AM + brunch + stargazing + blankets + hot chocolate + rocky horror + snuggles + shopping + dinner w/ my best friends.

december is seriously the best month in 2011.

Balance

2011-12-16T09:50:00.003-06:00

My friend says that there is a balance in this world. For one thing to succeed, another must fail. I wonder if it's true. One thing in my life is going very well, but it seems like other aspects of my life are falling apart.

And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.

LA-bound

2011-12-08T12:51:00.001-06:00

I hopped off the plane at LAX with a dream and my cardigan...

Hahaha sorry for the lyric, but it's just so appropriate! I can't help myself. I am off to LA this evening. About one month ago, I ran off to NYC for my cousin's wedding and to see friends. I'm in a very different place now than I was last month. It's a good difference. Last month, I was running away from a rocky situation. I felt unsure and confused about what things would be like when I returned. I was really scared to come back and even at the airport on my way back to Chicago, I felt like I needed more time in NYC. This time, though, I'm excited to go to LA, and I'm even more excited to come back to Chicago and continue what I've started. It's refreshing.

December is a great month. :)

happiness

2011-12-03T03:28:00.001-06:00

hit her like a train on a track.

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas

2011-12-01T20:53:00.001-06:00

my very own christmas tree--a first!

today:

fed pigeons with day-old jimmy john's bread.

wandered around chicago with baby christmas trees.

accidentally stabbed my toe with a needle while crafting.

listened to the she&him christmas album--highly recommended!

looking forward to the weekend.

happy shanksgiving

2011-11-25T18:43:00.001-06:00

Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone. It was kind of an odd day...definitely reminded me that life has its ups and downs. Even when crap happens, sometimes the only thing you can do to keep from falling apart is to give thanks for what you have. Life is tough...so much happens that we don't understand. You want to comfort people but you just don't know how.

I apologize for all these vague blog posts.

This year, I am thankful for:

my job. I complain about it a lot, but I know I am incredibly lucky to have a stable job that provides more than enough. I'm thankful for the people it has led me to know and for the opportunities it is leading me toward and for the experience it is giving me.
my family. Through sickness and hospital visits and moves and many changes, we're all still together. I am frustrated with them often, but I know I have a family who loves me, and that's not something the whole world has.
my friends. Thank you, every single one of you, for supporting me this year. I am thankful for the good eats, late nights, candid conversations, car rides/bus rides/train rides/plane rides, new experiences, etc. Thanks for walking through life with me. Thanks for putting up with my crazy emotions, insecurities, inconsistencies. Thanks for not judging me, for giving me your honest advice, and for understanding when I make the same mistakes over and over.

That's all for now. I will post some more sentimental stuff in December. :P

Thanksgiving lunch: congee, egg rolls, thousand year eggs, and bamboo shoots. PERFECTION.

Thanksgiving dinner: look at all them side dishes...

Thanksgiving dinner: there's the turkey. I hear it was delicious!

autumn om nom nom noms

2011-11-22T21:05:00.001-06:00

sweet potato, butter bean, spinach, and pepper jack quesadilla.

Molly's Cupcakes. This one is clearly my favorite.

applepieyuuum.

i want all of them! <3

red curry. part of my oh-yeah-i-should-start-cooking-more thing.

okie dokie artichokie.

i love splitting with other vegetarians. :)

I know

2011-11-20T23:45:00.001-06:00

you had loved someone once and so had i.

yikesss

2011-11-16T09:46:00.001-06:00

i just had a mini breakdown on the 2nd floor. DRAMATIC. this is what led up to it:

monday: woke up with a swollen eyelid, possibly the result of napping on sunday afternoon with contacts in and make up on.

tuesday: eyelid still swollen.

wednesday: eyelid still swollen. applied a warm towel to my eye. vision became blurred. freaked out. calmed down. vision restored. went downstairs for tea & toast to see that the kitchen was closed. friend told me to go in anyway. on the way out, got yelled at by co-worker who said the section was closed. accidentally dropped toast on floor out of frustration. bent down to pick it up. stayed in fetal position, upset about my toast until i was urged to get up and continue my work day.

oh god, i need to take a personal day/go see the doctor about my eye.

sweat & cigarettes

2011-11-13T22:38:00.000-06:00

turns out you can't not have emotions.

someone will always end up getting hurt.

in any case...

no regrets.

live & learn.

jajaja...

2011-11-12T19:28:00.001-06:00

The tour group

2011-11-08T16:42:00.003-06:00

From time to time, people come to take tours at the medical association I work at. Today's tour group consisted of people from a South Korean hospital. They were very interested in publishing something in The Journal, and so their tour guide (one of my co-workers) had me speak with them about how to submit a manuscript or video. They were given my business card and I had theirs. They asked me if I was Chinese American and I said yes. Then they asked me if I knew my name was the name of a popular Korean drama. I told them that I did know that. I do not watch Korean dramas but my friends do. I do like kpop like 2NE1, Wonder Girls, and Big Bang. I also told them that my mother had a lot of Korean friends in college and so she learned how to make kimchi.

In the end, we took a photo together with the fobby peace sign. And they gave me an envelope with some information about their hospital, a USB drive with videos, and some gifts. I took it, of course, with 2 hands. It was kind of nice...it was the most Asians I have ever seen in this building.

The whole time, my co-worker stood there awkwardly while the rest of us talked about Korean pop culture. I have to admit, it was kind of nice to meet the group and speak with them. I think that if any other Journal staff member spoke with them, it would have been a lot less personable and much more stiff and down to business (not that I am not down to business...).

Oh! And they told me I have a nice handshake. Anyway, my day just became 100% more awesome.

3 words

2011-11-07T22:10:00.001-06:00

i'm not sure how accurate this is. what are the first 3 words you see? mine were: lovely, whore, and broken. hrmmm...

New neighbor

2011-11-03T13:09:00.000-05:00

I woke up around 6 this morning bc I heard a crying child. A parent and child moved into the unit next to mine earlier this week. I never really heard the previous tenant or the one before him that much. I mean, I'd hear music or the TV, but it wasn't anything disruptive.

I was sitting at my desk at home (a rare occurrence!) a few days ago and I could hear a kid running around and screaming. I don't know how small this child is, but how is there room to run around in? That unit is tiny, smaller than mine. Can you imagine growing up in a studio apartment? I have been too spoiled by the suburbs.

I think about the timing of events a lot. If something happened a few months ago instead of a few weeks ago, how would life be different? Like, when people say they need to make up for lost time...what is lost time?

It's all very Back to the Future-ish. If one small thing goes differently, the entire course of your life could be different (cue the scene when Marty and his siblings start disappearing in the photo). Whether or not you think that's a good thing, that's just how things are supposed to go. And so I'm trying to be thankful for the course of events in my life and I'm trying to remember that in a few months or a few years, I'll look back and be like, oh this is why this happened.

And WAIT, it's raining today? I really need to start paying more attention to the morning news. It's starting to become background noise. It's too much Kim Kardashian's divorce and not enough weather and real news.

Fill in the blank:

2011-11-02T22:57:00.001-05:00

The best relief for a stressful day is...

the end of oct according to my phone

2011-11-02T14:09:00.002-05:00

After a lot of rain, the Steve Jobs banner outside of the Apple Store faded.

Apple Pie contest in Bucktown

Spoon size. Very important.

This spoon wins!!!

Matchy matchy with best friend.

Trader Joe's is so awesome.

go home.

Happy Halloween!

If I have learned anything,

2011-10-27T23:18:00.001-05:00

it's that mistakes can be beautiful. You might feel guilty, regretful, and shitty at first, but eventually, life works itself out.

Happy birthday, Dad

2011-10-27T10:02:00.001-05:00

Today is my dad's birthday. He got home from the hospital yesterday so he said we'll celebrate his birthday another time when he has more energy to move around. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said he wanted a tie, but not a silly one because that is no longer appropriate at his age. Oh, Dad. I guess that means he stopped wearing his Darth Vader tie.

Blah blah blah random

2011-10-24T14:48:00.001-05:00

Well, it's Monday. Work has been stressful lately and my personal life has been stressful lately. Nothing is ever calm, hmm? There used to be waves of nothingness. I remember them: times when you don't have to worry about anything. Now, it's as if once you are done worrying about one thing, something else happens. That's life.

I wonder if I am a predictable person...not that there would be anything wrong with that. Lately, people have either been saying things like, "oh yeah, you would..." or "that is so unlike you; you keep surprising me."

Coming to terms with something is a wonderful and bizarre thing.

Our new copier at work keeps giving us error messages.

My arms are cold. 3/4 sleeves are silly sometimes.

This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof.

Victory!

2011-10-20T19:00:00.001-05:00

I know this is kind of lame, but I just figured out how to connect my DVD player to my TV (with some of my brother's help over the phone). I'm really proud of myself. I was equally proud of myself when I set up my TV by myself earlier this summer.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

Hello...Reality?

2011-10-13T20:33:00.004-05:00

Sometimes, what I want does not correspond with reality. Sometimes, what I want is to touch the stove, even though I know I'll get burned. Sometimes, I want to disregard what I know I should or should not do.

Right now, I do not want to do my homework. At least it is my last assignment!

Hello, Reality

2011-10-12T11:05:00.000-05:00

I'm back in Chicago. NYC was marvelous and I had a lovely time. I keep thinking that I'm not ready to be back in reality, back with my problems and life in general...but if I really weren't ready, I would still be in NYC.

I am tackling my work day with caffeine in the forms of tea and soda. As for how to tackle the rest of my day? Idk. My mind is a mess, just like my apartment, just like my desk at work.

Back to digging around for contracts, chasing after people for signed agreements, and figuring out how to use the new copier. Yep, just throw out the bulk of my job description. Manuscripts don't need to be processed today.

Can you tell I'm frustrated today? =/

To do list for the rest of the week: hw, send away my umbrella for a new one (thank you, lifetime warranty), laundry (...), clean my apt.

Btw...join us for my brother's first exhibit and opening reception this Friday.

Leaving

2011-10-07T08:38:00.000-05:00

I feel like shit today. Glad to have an excuse to leave Chicago for a few days.

Slowly, slowly

2011-10-06T08:50:00.001-05:00

I think my heart is slowly healing. Well, I know it is. It doesn't hurt as much anymore--it doesn't feel like my heart has been stabbed--when I find a pair of his socks in my closet or an old message from him like I did last night and this morning. To me, these are remnants of a relationship that ended. And I realized that it wasn't one of those "great loves," like a love that shakes me to the core.

A month or two ago, I would have completely broken down if something like that happened. I mean, I did break down. But now, I'm okay. Not great, but okay.

Like I said. It's a slow process...at least for me.

Boys.

2011-10-03T11:45:00.000-05:00

Here is the problem.

Nice boys are nice. They are also boring. They can be sweet and accommodating, but in the end, they are just nice and boring.

Bad boys are bad. And you will end up hurt.

The end.

Colonel Tribune

2011-09-17T19:04:00.003-05:00

I've never seen this error page from The Chicago Tribune's website before. It's kind of awesome.

Perceptions

2011-09-14T15:37:00.001-05:00

My co-worker once saw me in the elevator with my breakfast: everything bagel, whipped cream cheese, and a slice of heirloom tomato. I just saw her again in the elevator and she asked me if I had the same thing again today. I said yes. Of course. She said she thought I was the type of person who likes to switch it up, try different bagels, different flavors of cream cheese, or maybe even toast or an English muffin. I'm not though. I am a pretty habitual person. I wonder if she really thought that about me or if she was making conversation.

Another co-worker told me she was surprised I'm a pessimistic person. Well. I am.

These are things I'm trying to change though. Do new things. Go out of my way to try something I usually wouldn't. Be positive. Let go of whatever is weighing me down.

Also...I've been coughing and sneezing this week and this morning, I woke up with a sore throat. Now, my stomach and head kind of hurt. I need sweats + orange juice. :P

The Wedding

2011-09-12T10:41:00.001-05:00

On Friday evening, I stood in my friend's wedding as the maid of honor. I've known her since the 2nd grade. She moved around a bit, but we did finish high school together. We kept in touch through sporadic phone calls in college and then more recently in the past year and a half.

I hung up my bridesmaid dress next to the junior bridesmaid dress I wore in a wedding when I was in high school. My mind flashed to the scene in 27 Dresses when Katherine Heigl's character tries to close her closet full of bridesmaid dresses. Oh geez.

Brittany & Darius: September 9, 2011

I'll be the first to admit that helping my friend plan this wedding was not easy. And some things did go wrong the day of the wedding. In the end, though, I'll just remember how beautiful my friend looked walking down the aisle and how much the couple loved each other and how their families really supported them.

I admit that I cried like a baby at the wedding. It wasn't that cute teardrop cry. It was the can't-keep-my-emotions-in kind of cry. I knew I'd cry, but I didn't know I would be that emotional. My friend and her new husband are one of those couples who makes me believe that real love does exist. Sometimes, I'm not sure what love is, like all encompassing love, unconditional love, love that never fades. I think I've seen glimpses of love...but I don't know anymore what it's really about.

My summer started with a wedding in Dallas and ended with a wedding in Woodridge. I'm in a very different place now compared to the beginning of the summer. I have had a lot of firsts, which I'll have a separate post about.

I thought things would calm down now that the wedding is over, but I'm looking at my calendar and realizing that is not the case! Between now and mid-October, I will be (1) taking a medical editing course, (2) planning YET ANOTHER bridal shower, (3) and going to my cousin's wedding in NYC. There will be a lot of fun things too like a segway tour, CORGI DAY, and Chipotle Cultivate Festival!

Oh, also! I want to thank my friends for listening to me go on and on about this wedding. :P

XX

2011-08-29T23:46:00.002-05:00

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight tries to find her as though to bring her closer.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. As she was before my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for her.

--Pablo Neruda

Translation by W. S. Merwin

Autocorrect

2011-08-28T23:47:00.001-05:00

i:
i still feel like a cynic.
i feel like there's still a lot of heart.
i mean
a lot of hurt
haha

h:
Haha that's autocorrect telling you something. Haha

i:
lol not autocorrect
that was my brain
and fingers
hahaha

h:
Lol the natural autocorrect. Hahaha

No Subject

2011-08-24T22:02:00.001-05:00

I don't pray much, but I guess this is one of those times.

2011-08-17T16:43:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it just feels like the same shit keeps happening over and over again. There's never a cure. There's always just something that happens to make us feel okay for a few months until the next shit thing happens again. Why have the past few years been such a roller coaster? Seeking peace.

In Memoriam

2011-08-15T08:47:00.004-05:00

Someone I briefly knew from my undergrad job at UIC passed away a few weeks ago. I had known about it from friends who still work there. Everyone was absolutely stunned. It was so sudden. I don't know what the mood was back in the office, but I was kind of glad I wasn't there.

I received the bi-monthly e-newsletter from the Institute I used to work at this morning to find a tribute to him. As I read through the familiar names, picturing their faces as I read what they had to say about him, I felt quite a surge of sadness.

He had a wife and a young daughter and I can't even imagine starting a family with someone just to have it prematurely ended.

When something happens like this, I feel very sobered. We worry about so many small things throughout the day: how does this shirt look on me, why isn't my hair cooperating, why won't this person pay more attention to me, what do I want to eat for dinner, etc.

I think I need a new attitude on life. My perspective on lots of things has dramatically changed this spring, which I am grateful for and hope to continue. Onward and forward.

Seeking Advice

2011-08-07T19:02:00.001-05:00

If you see something you want, should you go for it or should you maintain that good things come to those who wait?

This is what Google knows about me

2011-08-03T15:03:00.003-05:00

What are your Google ads preferences? Here are mine:

Arts & Entertainment - Music & Audio - Radio
Arts & Entertainment - Visual Art & Design - ... - Industrial & Product Design
Beauty & Fitness - Fashion & Style - Fashion Designers & Collections
Books & Literature - Writers Resources
Business & Industrial
Computers & Electronics
Home & Garden - Domestic Services - Cleaning Supplies & Services
Home & Garden - Home Improvement - Plumbing
Home & Garden - Homemaking & Interior Decor
Internet & Telecom - Mobile & Wireless - Mobile Phones - Smart Phones
News - Technology News
People & Society - Social Issues & Advocacy - Work & Labor Issues
Shopping - Apparel - Footwear
Shopping - Coupons & Discount Offers

Altered plans

2011-07-27T08:50:00.002-05:00

I had grand plans today of going home immediately after work, chilling out with a beverage, and reading Harry Potter 4. Then maybe do a bit of cleaning and organizing while I watch So You Think You Can Dance.

Grand plans.

I know I should not complain. It's wonderful to see family and friends and spend time with them. There's a lot to do by the end of the summer and by all counts, it has been one of the best summers of my life.

So I'll stop here. I daresay there will be lots of time to do nothing in the winter when no one wants to go out and play. :P

A few of my favorite things

2011-07-26T09:08:00.004-05:00

I came in this morning and found a Glee sticker book on my chair~~...still trying to figure out which of my co-workers got it for me~~ from my co-worker who is also a Gleek. We often share Glee news & thoughts.

One of my bosses just got back from her wedding & honeymoon (excitinggg!) and brought back a MARU book for me.

I'm hoping today will turn out to be okay. My cousins, Bianca and Curtis, are returning to HK tomorrow after a month-long tour in the Chicagoland area plus a short stint in Toronto. They are spending the day at a small amusement park and then dinner in Oakbrook with some of their neighbors from when they lived in the states. My parents and brothers most likely are not going but since I feel like I have spent the least amount of time with them, I will be taking the trek out to Oakbrook for the evening and then returning to Chicago via the Metra. It'll be kind of tiring but at least I have Harry Potter 4 to keep me company, and what a honking huge book it is.

On a different note, our windows are being removed today due to the Burberry expansion. Burberry has already temporarily relocated their store to prepare for demolishment in August, but will reopen on the same Michigan location in winter 2012.

Paloma, it means dove

2011-07-21T10:03:00.002-05:00

Due to the heat wave this week, I have been spending an hour or two at Argo Tea with a cold beverage (I tried their bubble tea...it was so weird! Who has ever heard of cube bubbles??), Harry Potter, and free air conditioning. Yesterday, I was sitting, sipping, and reading when a couple, maybe a decade or so older than my parents, sat down at the table next to mine. After a while, the woman turned to me and asked if I was reading in English. I said yes and she asked if I was born here. I again said yes. The woman told me that she and her husband were traveling from Mexico City and that they were staying in Chicago for a week because her husband was attending a professional convention in town.

We introduced ourselves. "Paloma," she pointed to herself, "it means dove." She paused. "Dove [long o sound] or dove [short o sound]?" I launched into a short discussion about homophones. I enjoyed it.

Paloma asked me where my parents were from and after I told her, she gushed about their trip to Hong Kong a few years ago and how beautiful it was. She described a restaurant that she went to that you can only access by a special train because it's really high up. The restaurant has a great view. Oddly enough, I knew exactly what she was talking about. Isn't it weird when your memory pulls that trick? You don't consciously know something but when someone mentions a place, you suddenly remember it. My dad has told me about that place before.

It was a very nice conversation. Paloma's husband was not chatty at all and even though she asked him a few times for translation, she was talkative, outgoing, and just really nice. I wished them a nice time in Chicago and a safe trip home and Paloma wished that we'll bump into each other again somewhere in this world.

Zzzz...

2011-07-15T15:08:00.004-05:00

You know when you are so tired that you're irritated with almost everyone?

3 hours of sleep
2 cups of coffee

Yeahhh, people should probably stay clear of Hurricane Iris today. She's kinda bitchy (today? always?), but mostly because she doesn't want to put up with your shit.

I'm gonna stop typing in the third person now.

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Hell Week

2011-07-12T09:19:00.004-05:00

This week = business attire, trying to remember board members' names, walking to the Fairmont and back, making copies (AKA killing trees), not leaving at my designated clock out time. Also, it was tortuously hot. The best part about work is the free air conditioning. My apartment is a sauna, but I'm sure there's a lesson somewhere about...I don't know. I'm glad I didn't grow up in Taiwan or Hong Kong, though. I much prefer crazy cold Chicago weather.

Yesterday was 7/11.

This week also = running errands, cleaning my apt, hosting my cousins at my apt, seeing my cousins for only the second time that they've been here for almost three weeks, shopping for a portable air conditioner.

This week's music = Marvin's Room by JoJo, Dusk and Summer by Dashboard Confessional, Chinese Translation by M. Ward, (The Symphony of) Blase by Anberlin, Landslide by Fleetwood Mac, With Every Heartbeat by Robyn, Heartless by Dia Frampton, The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert, and Are You Lonesome Tonight? by Elvis.

-Midday update-
I love laughing so hard that I start crying. Some people can really bring you down with their negative attitude, but some people can just brighten up your day. I'm so thankful for the latter group.

perfect party playlist

2011-07-05T20:46:00.002-05:00

stevie, jackson 5, michael, and enrique.
jk.
maybe.
oh and katy perry and dance remixes of adele.

fun weekend. :)

Relief

2011-06-26T21:35:00.002-05:00

I like the moment when we get off 90/94 from the Ohio exit and all the skyscrapers come into view. It's like a sigh of relief, like oh I can breathe.

I haven't lived in Chicago for a very long time but it's still home. There's comfort in the skyscrapers, the crowded streets, the lights, and buzz. Sometimes my tiny apartment feels more like home than the 4 bedroom house I grew up in.

I'm coming home from my hardest year
I'm making plans not to make plans while I'm here
And this life has been no holiday, a complicated situation
I'm fine with all my memories
Still I could use vacation

It's good to be alive
It's good to be alive

Renewed Goals

2011-06-24T08:28:00.003-05:00

I like to think of myself as a goal-oriented person. Most of the time, I know what I want and I make a plan of action to get it.

Maybe in reality this is absolutely false. You tell me.

The only thing is that I've lost track of some of my goals. People say that if you write down your goals, it's easier to follow through with them. Well, here are some goals:

-Review my 401K contribution and see if there is room to contribute more.
-Write out a concrete budget and actually stick with it.
-Set up an emergency fund that includes more than cash in my "underwear drawer."
-Carve out time to write.
-Eat more fresh, organic produce

The financial goals stem from a number of things: (1) It is absolutely possible that I will never get married and will need to support myself when I retire. I can do that, but I need to plan it now while I'm young. (2) I realized I have saved nothing since last month. Sure, I've transferred money from my checking to my savings account, but then I've moved it back so I can spend it. This is not okay! (3) I have been thinking about an emergency fund for the past few weeks and last weekend, my friend's wallet was stolen so she had to use emergency cash while she waited for the credit cards to be replaced. If I lost my job today, would I be able to maintain a similar lifestyle for at least 6 months? I could, but as always, I'd like a bigger cushion.

My writing goal prompted from the fact that my brother recently published a book, American Superbike X. It's something that he's worked at for a while and I'm so impressed at what he has accomplished. I've loved to write since I was a kid and I know this sounds very generic, but it really has been one of my goals for a very long time to have something published. It's also something that I haven't thought about seriously for a long time, and I need to revisit this goal.

You don't know what you don't know

2011-06-19T22:06:00.004-05:00

I realized today that June is halfway over. This month has probably been the best in 2011 so far. Thanks, friends. <3 Here's to hoping the rest of the summer will be filled with new thrills, good food, fun in the sun, dancing till dawn, and simplicity.

Kindness on Michigan

2011-06-15T14:02:00.004-05:00

Ever since my dear friend W posted this on her blog, I've been thinking a lot about people asking for money on the street. There's a man who sits outside of Dunkin Donuts. He likes sausage breakfast wraps, but I can't tell you his name. There's a woman who sits with her kids outside of the construction for the new luxury condos. A blind man stands by Banana Republic. An androgynous fellow stands by one of the churches on Rush with one single hand extended and eyes closed. A man who seems to wear every article of clothing in his possession on his body at all times sleeps in a little nook by the hotel, two blocks away from my apartment building.

Today, I passed the androgynous fellow three times. Once on my way to work. The second time was going to Sprinkles and the third time was returning with a box of cupcakes. You know what the terrible thing is? The first time I walked past, I thought: you can't just stand there holding your hand out. You have to have a sign or something, a reason to be standing outside begging for money. But, you know, that just seems like an awfully selfish thought. Doesn't it? Who am I to judge this person?

Anyway, I spent lots of money today running errands and never did I stop to talk to someone asking for money. Thoughts popped into my head, like maybe I should ask if he or she is hungry. But I didn't because, as we've already established, I am selfish.

Umbrellas are no good when they are sitting in your cube and not in your hand when rain pours down all around you. I walk from Walton to Ontario in the rain, making pit stops at Walgreens and Trader Joe's. As I leave Trader Joe's with my pita chips and olive oil hummus, I realize it's raining harder than it was before. I wrap myself in my thin cardigan and step lightly. As I head back to work, a woman, maybe my mother's age, stops and asks me if I'd like to share her umbrella. At first I tell her no thank you but she insists and so we share her umbrella. I ask her where she is going and she says the bus stop on Erie and Michigan and she asks me where I am going. I point a few blocks away to my office building. We walk to Michigan and I say thank you very much, I can walk to my office from here, but she says her bus isn't coming yet and she can stand with me until the light is green. As we are waiting (the north/south light is awfully long), she asks me if I am Chinese, "but not from China, right?" I tell her my mother is from Taiwan and my father is from Hong Kong so I speak Mandarin and can understand Cantonese. She explains that she is from Malaysia and speaks both dialects. I say my usual line in Cantonese: "I can understand but I can't speak it" and then we have a short conversation in Mandarin.

This woman's kindness made a world's difference in my day. We only walked for two or three blocks together, but in the middle of a busy day and a busy week, it really did make such a difference.

It's time I pay it forward. I spend so much money on myself and infrequently on my friends. I live in a city where someone asks for money each time I step outside. When I compare myself to others, I feel like I have so little, but I'm understanding more and more that I do have a lot, more than I need while there are so many people who don't have what they need.

It's Friday?

2011-06-10T09:29:00.004-05:00

Today, I feel unable to do anything productive. It's been a really long week and even though I have had a pretty relaxing week at home, there's been a lot going on at work and the result is feeling exhausted and weighed down at the end of the week.

I just feel a little worn out from life.

Isn't it weird when you feel disappointed in yourself? I guess that's when you decide to either make a change or continue on the road you are on and justify it all.

On another note, I started adding tofu to random food to make sure I am getting enough protein.

=====================

Sometimes my co-workers (outside of my department) call me "little Iris." Have I mentioned that I'm the youngest person here? Not that there aren't young people here, but it's more like...I probably look the youngest.

Must Get Out by Maroon 5

2011-06-08T09:59:00.000-05:00

I'm lifting you up
I'm letting you down
I'm dancing til dawn
I'm fooling around
I'm not giving up
I'm making your love
This city's made us crazy and we must get out

Snippets of my week

2011-06-03T10:02:00.002-05:00

Thai food
late night rants
Uno & Scrabble
white wine
good friends
anger
prayers
sleep deprivation
stress cleaning
outrageous/hilarious reaction to my request for vegetarian torta
late bus rides
quiet cab ride
sister wives!!!
baby watermelon & mangoes
brie & gouda
stress ball

Looking forward to a quiet weekend: catch up on reading, do a little sewing, work on some home organization. The rest of today will be crazy though.

Sleepwalking

2011-06-01T08:35:00.002-05:00

I sleepwalked last night. I have a very hazy memory of walking to the fridge and grabbing grapes to eat from the bottom shelf (it's a good thing I don't keep cupcakes in the fridge). Then I guess I turned on my window fan because I woke up this morning, quite chilly, with the fan on.

I'm always surprised that I don't trip and fall when I sleepwalk. I don't do it often. It first happened when I was a small child. My mother recalls finding me by the staircase in the dark of the night and telling me to go back to bed. I believe the last time I sleepwalked was when my second oldest brother, who is currently in Afghanistan, first went off to college so I was in early high school. I know that I went to sleep in my own room but I woke up in my brother's room.

On an unrelated note, today marks two occasions: (1) National Punch a Hipster Day and (2) my one year mark at the Journal. Ah yes, one year ago today, I walked up to this building in my heels and pencil skirt, lip gloss safely tucked in my purse and started my first job out of college. I still have a long way to go!

Snap back to reality, oh there goes gravity

2011-05-25T15:16:00.008-05:00

I used to be a fan of Eminem. I think he started becoming famous when I was in junior high. When no one was at home, I would play Lose Yourself over and over very loudly. I used to make mixed tapes by recording songs off the radio. There was one time when *NSYNC was on The View and I actually recorded the episode from the TV onto a cassette tape. I was very good at pirating.

Anyway. I'm back in Chicago from my four day trip in Texas. We went to Dallas, Temple, and Houston. Dallas and Houston are (obviously) very different from Chicago and I'm glad to be back in a bustling city with lots of pedestrian traffic, mass transit, skyscrapers, and vegetarian-friendly restaurants.

I'll blog more about my trip later. Here are my goals for the rest of the week:
-unpack
-laundry. lotsss of laundry.
~~-put away the summer clothes i took out when i was packing~~
-clean the bathroom
~~-buy some produce...i need to start eating real food again instead of ice cream for dinner. :(~~ i bought asparagus! yummmm.
~~-re-list stuff on craigslist, unless you are interested in buying my 3 shelf bookcase and 19 inch tube tv :)~~
-vacuum
-call BTS about wedding stuff
-update language blog wahhhh

That's it. I'm looking forward to the weekend (queue Friday) which will include but is not limited to: meals with good friends, my newly acquired cowboy boots (!!!), possibly my first pedicure ever, wine & cheese night (not to be confused with whine & cheesy night), etc. SUMMER 2011 awesomeness.

My Mother's Dreams

2011-05-02T11:29:00.008-05:00

Last night, as I saw everyone's Facebook statuses about Osama bin Laden's death, I waited along with the rest of the nation for President Obama's speech. I was planning on sleeping early but I became eager to hear the details.

Then I saw I got a missed call from my parents. I have not spoken with them much lately, which is altogether my fault. So I called them back and my mother relayed a dream she had the night before. In her dream, my brother picked me up from the train station and we entered our parents' home through the back door. My brother entered first and my mom hugged him. Then I entered and my mom went to hug me but then I disappeared into thin air. My mom told me that she has been worried about me lately.

This reminds me of another dream she had about two years ago. In this dream, my entire family was trying to get on a train. Everyone managed to get on except me. My mom was concerned that i was getting "left behind."

After I hung up on the phone with my parents, I went to watch the live streaming video of President Obama but all I saw was him walking away. I missed the entire thing! At least I was able to read all about it this morning. I think that Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper sums up the situation well: "Canada receives the news of the death of Osama bin Laden with sober satisfaction. Sadly, others will take his place." This so called war on terrorism is far from over. It is a victory, for sure, but there is still a long way to go.

I am interested to talk to non-Americans about this. Over the weekend, I had an unexpected conversation with my cousin from Taiwan. It was eye opening to hear his views on American politics, his shock about the great social inequalities that occur in our public schools, and his disgust over today's sluggish American youth. The conversation reminded me to push myself to learn about other cultures and to expand my mind beyond American borders. My old Chinese school textbook taught us that we were "overseas Chinese." ABC stands for "American Born Chinese." Both of these phrases suggest that we are Chinese (or Taiwanese or Cantonese or...?) first and American second. This is something I struggle with, something that most immigrants or children of immigrants struggle with. My parents and family have mostly wanted me to be Chinese first. This perspective has led to many arguments over the years. Another topic for another time.

As a parting note: my co-worker glanced at me briefly and then told me I look tired today. What a delightful morning greeting.

Snack Attack

2011-04-26T10:38:00.002-05:00

On Sunday evening, I developed a random craving for Pop Tarts. At the grocery store, I decided to get the big box with 10 tarts instead of 6 thinking that I'd get more for my money. Now I have more than I need or like. Pop Tarts are usually too sweet for my liking and I must have them with milk. Now I have an open package of Pop Tarts sitting at my desk. I'm hoping one of my co-workers will come by hungry and I'll give it away.

The lesson: never go to the grocery store with random cravings. :(

Btw, this day is going by so slowly. Can't wait to get home and shleeeeep...

Love and Other Drugs

2011-04-25T21:04:00.001-05:00

Jamie Randall: You need someone to take care of you.
Maggie Murdock: No, I don't!
Jamie Randall: Everybody does.

Fidelity by Regina Spektor comes on right after this scene...so I double love this scene. :)

Tea Time Thoughts

2011-04-25T09:24:00.003-05:00

Halfway through my morning tea, I realized that my mug tasted like dish soap. My stomach now feels funny (although this is most likely psychological) and I am going to get a fresh mug of tea.

This reminds me of a story my dad told me when I was younger. Actually, the story did not belong to him. He heard it on Moody's Focus on the Family radio. I believe it went something like this: Dr Dobson's son asked him if he could watch a PG 13 (or some similar rating) movie. Dr Dobson responded that if he made a cake with all the normal ingredients but then added a little bit of dog poo, would the son still eat it? Of course the son, disgusted, said he would not. Dr Dobson went on: likewise, even if a movie is for a general audience but there is a bit of violence or a sex scene or something, the whole movie is ruined.

When my dad told me this story, I was probably in jr high. Now, over ten years later, can life still be colored in only black and white? Every situation has different layers. If you refused to participate in any situation that even has a hint of negativity in it, what would you even do?

Take, for example, my apartment.
Pros: good location (proximity to red line and buses, proximity to work), reasonable rent, great building manager, nice neighbors, recycling, alllll mine.
Cons: small studio, weird buzzing noise, the building traps smells.
As you see, there are advantages and disadvantages. Oddly enough, another valuable lesson that my father taught me was to make pro/con lists. Weigh everything out and make a decision based on that. So it seems that it is impossible to have just a great cake and no dog poo.

Likewise, every bad situation has a silver lining. Most of the time, you only find out what that silver lining is years later.

This post doesn't really have a point. Many thoughts jumble around in my mind, but I save those for my journal or personal conversations. :)

Nocturnal Leg Cramps

2011-04-15T08:21:00.002-05:00

I really can't complain about this week. I got to see some old friends I haven't seen in a while and catch up. I had one of my monthly late meetings yesterday (but at least I got overtime tehehe). The only thing that kind of sucked about this week was that I kept waking up from nocturnal leg cramps.

From Wikipedia: Nocturnal leg cramps are involuntary muscle contractions that occur in the calves, soles of the feet, or other muscles in the body during the night or (less commonly) while resting.

I used to get these a lot in high school and haven't in a while until this week. Possible causes are dehydration and lack of calcium, potassium, or sodium. I used to try to eat a lot of bananas in high school to avoid these leg cramps. I guess I haven't eaten bananas in a while though.

I haven't gotten that much sleep this week. At the beginning of the week, I couldn't fall asleep and I would just lie in bed until 2 am. Toward the end of the week, I wouldn't get home until later at night and then I'd fall into bed around 1 am after doing some chores and stuff.

Mmm...may next week be filled with more sleep and less leg cramps!!!

Teapot lamp

2011-04-08T00:01:00.004-05:00

&

I love these lamps!

Work

2011-04-05T12:14:00.003-05:00

This sounds odd, but sometimes I wish I could stay at work the entire day just to catch up on everything. Between missing work for dental appointments and all the planning for our cookie conclave and the supplements and contracts that come with it and the miscellaneous tasks that everyone throws at me, I wish I could stay here and just do it all. Crazy, I know.

Another part of me hates being at work, that's the part of me that most of you know.

In other news, I received my scalp massager in the mail today. Vergood.

Delicata Squash

2011-02-06T19:43:00.003-06:00

A few months ago, there was a Groupon for Organics Delivered. I finally got around to using the Groupon in January.

Collard greens, sweet potatoes, delicata squash, avocados, onions, pears, apples, and oranges.

I had to use Google to figure out what collard greens are as I have never really had them before. I was delighted to find that they are tasty and have since purchased more. On my delicata squash, there was a convenient little sticker with instructions on how to prepare it. I just threw it in the oven with a bit of oil and ate it. It was good, but I prefer butternut.

Today, I decided to use my other delicata squash, along with the onion from my box and collard greens from elsewhere and made a really tasty soup.

Delicata squash soup

Ingredients:
1/2 onion
2 cloves of garlic
1 tbsp of butter
1 cube of veggie stock
6 leaves of collard greens
1 delicata squash
2 1/2 cups water

Instructions:
1. Peel the delicata squash and chop into small cubes.
2. Chop the garlic and onion and sautee it in a pot with melted butter.
3. Once the onions are caramelized, add the water and dissolve the veggie stock cube.
4. Throw in the squash and once you have brought the soup to a boil, turn the heat to low for a simmer.
5. Chop the leaves into strips or squares and throw it into the soup.
6. Let the soup simmer for 20-30 minutes or until the squash is soft.
7. Add salt and pepper as desired.

Resolutions

2011-01-10T11:19:00.003-06:00

Welcome to the second week of January. January is usually a very busy month: new year's, Eggplant's birthday, Favian's birthday, my birthday, anniversary, and many other birthdays. Wahhhhooooo.

I have a few new year's resolutions. I usually don't give a second thought to it, but I felt like I needed a change in 2011. One of my resolutions is to live a more minimalist lifestyle: get rid of unused books, CDs, clothes, stuffed animals, etc. I am selling some books on Amazon (mailing out 6 tomorrow!) and the books that would only sell for $.01 will be donated along with CDs to my local library or to the Salvation Army. I also dug through the closet at home and found 5 fall/winter coats that I cannot wear anymore. Most of them are from elementary school. I'll be glad to have some extra closet and shelf space and let someone find use out of what I cannot. Feels good to declutter.

2010 In Review

2010-12-31T17:50:00.003-06:00

This has been a truly remarkable year. At the end of 2009, I had just finished school (okay, some of this post may echo my last blog post, but whatever) and was starting a very intense job search. I was working my undergrad position as a communications assistant. Without that job, I would not have had many opportunities I received this year.

The first part of my year was spent looking for a job. I looked all over the web, sent hundreds of cover letters and resumes, and only had a handful of interviews. My first job interview was a very first-tier kind of thing with Harpo over the phone. I was asked a lot of odd questions about Oprah's influence on America and what my favorite episode was. The position would have been great, but it was only an internship and also, I can't say I am too invested in Oprah. Throughout the next six months of 2010, I took my laptop everywhere and searched for jobs almost every single day while working part time. It was exhausting but it finally paid off when I received a job offer in mid May. I put in my two weeks' notice to my undergrad job, said goodbye (or see you later) to some of the best people in Chicagoland, and headed to my first full time job on Mag Mile.

And now here we are.

The last six months of 2010 have been a whirlwind. I've never been so tired or so stressed out or so angry at co-workers. At the same time, I have felt an immense sense of accomplishment, mostly because I have been able to reach some goals. They're not earth shattering goals by any means, but I am personally proud to have reached them.

The ending of 2010 have been trying times (yet. again.) with my family. Hopefully everything will be okay, but it's definitely a reminder that life is filled with good times and bad times.

I'm not someone who has a lot of friends but I love the people who are in my life. Thanks for 2010. Here's to 2011.

One Year

2010-12-19T17:55:00.003-06:00

Last year around this time, I finished my undergraduate career. Now, one year later, I'm still in the same city (though my living arrangements have improved). Sometimes I wish I had been able to travel between finishing school and working. I know it's the practical thing to do. The earlier you start saving for your 401K, the more you have for retirement. The earlier you start your career, the more experience you'll have and the better opportunities you will find. I know all of this. It just would have been nice to have a break, even if only for a month. I would love to travel and spend time being somewhere else, doing something else. I never want to waste my time...but it'd be nice to relax. =/

Decisions

2010-12-13T10:35:00.004-06:00

I am wearing two layers of pants today. This will most likely end up as the best decision I will make all day. Here are some bad decisions I have made so far today:

This morning, I put on a shirt, changed three times, and ended up wearing the first shirt anyway.
I got some junk food from the vending machine with the only two laundry quarters I have. I must find more quarters!
I told a co-worker in the kitchen that I was going to hunt her down for her hot chocolate mix. I have never spoken to her.

Some productive and positive decisions I made today (besides the double layer pants thing):

I usually set my alarm clock for 6:45 am and then 7:05 am. I wake up to my first alarm and groggily turn it off to wait for my second one. Then I don't end up waking up until 7:20 or 7:30 because I'm so tired. Today, I set my alarm clock for 7:05 and 7:20. I woke up at 7:05, slept for five more minutes, and got up. I think that extra twenty minutes of undisturbed sleep actually helps.
I mailed out two homemade Christmas cards this morning. They are awesome. I'll post pictures later.
Oh! I forgot to mention that despite the crappy weather, I got to work on time and clocked in on time. Wooooo.

This next thing is not really a good or bad decision. It just happened. When I got to work this morning, my computer fan was being really loud. My computer isn't overheated though. I turned it off twice, waited, and turned it back on. The fan is still going like crazy. I asked IT to come by, but I guess they are busy.

Urgh

2010-12-10T08:43:00.002-06:00

Don't you hate when you write a long blog post and then it gets erased? Yeah.

Food

2010-12-06T10:30:00.003-06:00

This weekend, I did a lot of grocery shopping. I went to Jewel (yuck, I miss Aldi and Stanley's) on Saturday and Chinatown on Sunday. I got:

black bean patties
spinach patties
two bags of salad to go with my poppyseed dressing yummmm
milk!
three bags of veggie dumplings
two boxes of firm tofu and one tube of egg tofu
green curry

Super tasty times.

If I Were a Witch

2010-12-03T09:34:00.003-06:00

Would I be green? Would I sing awesome songs like in Wicked? Would I ride on a broomstick or vacuum cleaner?

One thing is fo sho. If I were a witch that used her finger to do magic, I'd be screwed right now. I burned my finger yesterday when I was making dinner. It didn't seem too bad. I iced it and put a bit of aloe on it. This morning, I took a closer look and it's kind of bubbly...errr...

My dog would prob look like this:

http://thedailywh.at/post/2066207152/omg-adorbz-of-the-day-harry-pupper-internet

Shanksgiving

2010-11-29T09:02:00.002-06:00

Happy Cyber Monday! Will you all be spending even more money than you already did this past week? I probably will. Oh, the power of the paycheck (but must remember that rent is due this week and so is the ComEd bill).

I spent Wednesday night through Sunday night in the suburbs with my family and when I got back to my apartment yesterday, I checked my thermometer magnet (from Canada!) and it was somewhere between 30 and 40F. I decided to finally turn on the heat right before bed and woke up in the morning to about 70F. I am used to setting the heat around 65F. That's how it is at my parents' house and that's what I enforced at my last apartment (well, agreed. Maybe not enforced...hah). The problem is that I've never used the heater at my current apartment and may need the aid of Favian to figure out how to adjust the heat. It is either super confusing or I am super blind. Or both.

There is a lot to be thankful for this year and I am trying to keep these things in mind. This year, I found a job. Maybe it sounds silly, but that was one of the hardest things I have personally done. Well, yes, I know it does sound silly because most everyone has gone through it. What I mean to say is that it was challenging to me and I also learned a lot about myself after a six month job search. I am also thankful that I was able to move out and live by myself. Despite the minor cabin fever I had when I first moved in (500 sq ft, c'mon), the studio feels like home now. I love being able to control everything and do things the way I want. Another thing I am thankful for is my friends and family. (This list is not in order, by the way.) It was so great to spend Thanksgiving day with my family and to see my good friends this weekend, even if it was only for a little while. I didn't see many people, but I know that the few friends I did see are lifelong companions. FR, JL, JL, JM, and HN, I love you all (so many JLs!).

I am afraid and anxious of change. A lot of things have changed this year and I know that there are a lot of obstacles in the next few months as well. Who knows how any of this will turn out?

Overseas Dreams

2010-11-22T08:47:00.004-06:00

Last night I dreamed that I was doing study abroad in Taiwan but for some reason, Taiwan was at UIUC. Joyce was able to help me navigate and Favian was there too. Lots of fobby Asians made it into my dreams. I had to keep logging on to my UIC e-mail and the UIC student page to find my schedule class locations, but the internet was really slow and I was already late for my classes.

I always wonder where all my dreams come from. Like last week, I dreamed that Eggplant texted me and demanded that I come home and drive her to Chipotle. While this could be a likely occurrence, I have no idea where it came from.

Last night's dream could be a combination of talking to Favian about people going overseas to teach English after college and seeing Joyce earlier that day. Since graduating from UIC almost one year ago, I have had a couple of dreams about school. I don't think people ever stop dreaming about school. We spend so much time in class, from preschool to college and then grad school and so on.

Well, back to reality and here I find myself sitting in my cube. Back to work, dear readers.

Spending Habits

2010-11-19T09:09:00.002-06:00

I like to think of myself as a frugal person. Well, maybe not quite frugal. More like...I really like to save my money and watch it sit in the bank and gain interest. This week though, I have really spent a lot of money.

I ordered something for my mother's birthday, some make-up from Smashbox Cosmetics, and two sweaters and a scarf from Victoria's Secret for a total of over $100. AND today's Groupon is $25 for $50 at Nordstrom Rack. AND Black Friday is coming up. I want to buy a new TV and of course Christmas gifts for my family and friends.

Better move more money from my savings to my checking account. Tehehe...

Instant Oatmeal

2010-11-02T09:08:00.002-05:00

The thing about instant oatmeal is that you have to eat it right away. If you, say, are called into someone's office to chat or someone comes over to your desk to ask a question and then you get sidetracked, your oatmeal turns lumpy and sticky and then you turn unhappy.

Sigh.

Love-Chocos

2010-10-28T12:01:00.005-05:00

Hello, world. Sunday is Halloween, a day where my parents traditionally hide away so they don't have to feed candy to trick-or-treaters. In the spirit of Halloween, some of my co-workers have brought in bountiful amounts of chocolate: Twix, Snickers, Three Musketeers, Milky Way, and...Ghirardelli chocolates (O-M-G). Everyone on the floor has indulged shamelessly, including myself and I consequently have a stomachache. Why must the thing I love hurt me so much?

I stumbled my way over to a co-worker's cube and asked her if her stomach hurt as much as mine. She pulled open her desk drawer and revealed a small hoard of chocolate. It made me think of Valentine's Day 2009. I believe it was on a Friday or Saturday that year. I came home from work on Friday evening and found a delivery of chocolates, flowers, and a teddy bear (who currently resides on my bed) from Favian. The chocolates were no ordinary chocolates, but one of my favorites: Ferrero Rocher (*echo in its magnificence...*). So that day when I got home from work and saw all the V-Day goodies sitting on the kitchen table, I was pretty delighted. And then the two girls I was living with and the two friends they had over literally pounced on me, wanting some of my love-chocos. I was just like, okay, thinking they would each take one or two. It was a pretty large box so I thought I would have plenty left over. After the scurry, I looked at my box and saw that about half was gone. And the next day, I spotted a handful of chocolates on my roommate's dresser. Not my fault that no one delivered chocolates to them...

Oh, my stomach. Story telling does not calm the rumble.

Twitter and Facebook

2010-10-27T15:41:00.004-05:00

...take over my life! Instead of writing blog posts, I've been tweeting, updating my Facebook status, and posting Google buzz. What is wrong with me? A compilation:

ohhh my goodness. three hour meeting is finally over.
3 hours ago

Happy birthday, Dad.
about 8 hours ago via web

Cappelacci is yum.
1:44 PM Oct 26th via web

http://blogs.vocalo.org/bey/2010/10/a-dollar-sale-in-bronzeville-buy-an-historic-home-for-1-monday/40706
Buzz - Public - Oct 26

@FavianR <3
1:32 PM Oct 25th via web

It's Friday afternoon. I cannot concentrate on my work. Duh.
2:42 PM Oct 22nd via web

You could win a $500 Groupon Gift Card in the Real Simple Unbeatable Deals Sweepstakes! http://t.co/ejh4TDX
9:29 AM Oct 22nd via Tweet Button

http://www.cnn.com/CNN/Programs/anderson.cooper.360/blog/2006/05/how-polygamy-affects-your-wallet.htmlEdit
Buzz - Public - Oct 22

Dunkin' Donuts coffee is mediocre.
8:53 AM Oct 20th via web

orange soda on my dry clean only shirt. mehhhh...
2:30 PM Oct 18th via web

Just had a ten hour workday at the office. At least it's not twelve. =)
October 14 at 6:02pm via Text Message

One and One Half Hours Down

2010-10-20T09:21:00.003-05:00

Seven more to go. WAHHHH. Drinking coffee like it's goin out of style. Trying to keep awake. Glossy paper. Baby gourd. SNACK ATTACK pop tart.

That's all.

Update:
Four and a half more hours until nap nap...still with the glossy paper!

Bright Lights

2010-10-14T08:53:00.003-05:00

A few bulbs had burned out over the weekend at work. The hallway between the offices and the cubes was particularly dim. This morning, the bulbs were replaced. There was a lot of excitement and as each bulb procured the light we needed, our eyes had to adjust. A few people with Mac computers even lost their electricity for a while. One co-worker put on her sunglasses.

It felt like the Chilean miners finally coming out of the mine into the light again. Each of the 33 miners wore special goggles when they emerged from the earth back onto the surface of our world.

I know this is a far-fetched simile and I cannot compare half a week of sitting under dimmed lights at our glowing computers to 69 days trapped in a small space.

And this is where I would make a cheesy statement about coming into the light, out of the darkness.

I am craving more potage parmentier (recipe to come) this week.

The Fog

2010-10-11T17:00:00.010-05:00

Is anyone else seeing this weird fog that has come over Chicago?

I was walking home from work on Rush Street between Ontario and Division. I noticed several people were snapping photos as the fog quickly overtook Mag Mile and Gold Coast.

Creeeeeepy...

Chicago Weather Center's "From Our Readers:"

I was out at Ohio Street Beach enjoying the day until that dense fog rolled in... now I can barely see out the window. How is that possible?
Krysia @ 4:30 PM CDT, Oct 11, 2010

the temperature has just dropped about 20 degrees in about an hour chilling fog rolled in from the lake! Where did that come from?
james @ 4:15 PM CDT, Oct 11, 2010

Also see: http://boards.ign.com/teh_vestibule/b5296/196618361/r196618712/

Someday I'll Fly Away

2010-09-30T10:53:00.002-05:00

SUPER DRAMATIC TITLE.

I've spent the first two hours of my day in meetings that I was not aware of until I came into work and checked my e-mail. This always happens: I bring a big mug of tea with me to each meeting and halfway through each meeting, I always really need to use the bathroom. This ALWAYS happens.

My first performance review is due tomorrow. I have to review myself, then it goes to my supervisor, then to the department director. And I'll learn all the results in December. Yes, it is a long journey. My review is 24 pages so far. I feel like I'm writing a final exam paper.

Blah blah blah blah blah work is always crazy BUT the difference now is that I have a new desktop background photo:

http://dailybunny.org/post/1204624066/via-original

Isn't it wonderful? The bunny looks like he's ready to fly away. Fly, fly awayyyy...

One of These is Not Like the Other

2010-09-27T08:08:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I feel like an impostor. I wake up this morning to put on my clothes: a navy blue button-up shirt, a plum cardigan, grey dress pants, black socks. I find a necklace to complement my outfit, apply make-up carefully, and make sure my hair looks straight. But it's cold so before I head out, I grab my sweatshirt that I bought at Forever 21

(sidebar: I actually remember the day I bought that sweatshirt. I was with Joyce at the mall, maybe Fox Valley. Forever 21 had just opened. We were in late high school or early college. I love that sweatshirt. Forever 21 needs to find better designers. All of them are on drugs or something now.)

and a scarf from Urban Outfitters.

{sidebar: Funny thing, I actually also remember when I bought this scarf. I'll spare you the details though.}

And then I throw on my black messenger bag and sneakers (heels are at the office) and I pop in my headphones (Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars on REPEAT). I run to the bus stop just in time and see all these skinny blonde late 20s/early 30s girls who look so corporate and so perfect with their high heels and ironed skirts and crisp blouses and fluffed out hair. And I look like I'm in high school.

Yep, impostor.

1011

2010-09-18T17:36:00.005-05:00

How wonderful it is to fill a new home with good friends and good food (Giordano's pizza and cheese and mushroom quesedillas with mango lime salsa and avocado).

More Phosphoric Acid

2010-09-09T15:21:00.003-05:00

I've never been a big soda drinker, mostly because my diabetic mother bought sweets sparingly. However, I find myself sitting at my desk in my afternoon slump drinking a cherry Coke. I used my laundry quarters to feed myself more phosphoric acid. I bought it for the caffeine, but it's NOT WORKING. =( I really need sleep. Oh, why can't manuscripts process themselves?

On Tuesday, someone (via Craigslist) came to pick up all my moving boxes. In the ad for the boxes, I wrote to please recycle them after use. I hope she does! Yesterday, a nice hipster couple (also via Craigslist) bought some chairs from me. I gave them a complementary gift (grope on a rope, originally from my old roommate) that I wouldn't want my parents to see laying around my studio. Now my place is a lot cleaner. I still have a lot of furniture and I still need to clean. All in all, I am satisfied. Vergood.

The Sniffles

2010-09-07T10:43:00.002-05:00

I am getting the sniffles. I've sneezed a few times. Had to blow my nose. Going to get my second cup of tea soon.

Today just seems dreary. What I really want to do is make myself a bowl of rice porridge with bamboo shoots and thousand year eggs and pickled vegetables...

Sigh. Maybe I will go to Chinatown tonight.

==================================================

Update: I did indeed go to Chinatown with Favian. Besides picking up bamboo shoots, pickled vegetables, and thousand year eggs, I also purchased chocolate and strawberry wafers, red bean popsicles, and other snacks that I do not know the name of...I wanted to buy some frozen veggie dumplings but there were none! Vegetarians are not accommodated in Chinatown, obviously.

Too Bad

2010-08-31T16:04:00.001-05:00

People who have the best intentions and are the nicest people can still make the most ignorant comments...and they don't even mean it.

Dear Ex-Roommate,

2010-08-26T08:49:00.002-05:00

I'm so glad you are not in my life anymore. Is it even a wonder that you have never left a roommate situation on a positive note? Even people who I know did not have the best intentions for me warned me about you, and we were all supposedly friends at the time. But now you live with some guy whose girlfriend hates you. You can steal his cereal, his shower rings, his garbage can, his food, his time, his money.

I know you think you're living a fantastic life, but babe, living in Humboldt Park, working in a bad neighborhood, driving a car that you've gotten way too many parking tickets on, taking online classes, spending hundreds of dollars on booze, and sleeping with disgusting, ugly white boys you don't even love is not a fantastic life.

And all these things you think is amazing is all paid for by your daddy. Why? Because you're a North Shore brat, just like the ones you hate. Your father drives all the way from one of the richest suburbs in the area to drop off one dress for you and then drives back. Did you know that the median income in your hometown is twice as much as it is in mine? Do you know how fortunate you are? Do you even know? And it is ridiculous to think you are so cultured. Your hometown also has twice as many white people as mine. Do you see a trend here? Don't tell me how poor you and your family are. My parents came to this country with two pieces of luggage, literally. Your parents were born here, into a comfortable place. When we all moved in together, I was working two jobs. You were fired from two.

When you've said ignorant things to me in the past, like telling me that my Asian food smells bad or that you welcome me to America, I felt bad for you. When you think you're a minority where you work or where you went to school, I think you're just insane. Do you understand that there is NO SUCH THING as a "token white person" here? Do you get that when you tell minorities that you yourself are a minority, how ridiculous you are? Do you even comprehend what it feels like to feel to not belong because you have a different skin tone and your eyes have a different shape and your last name isn't Anglo-Saxon? As much as you boast about knowing different cultures and having friends from all ethnic groups, you hang out with a bunch of white kids from the suburbs, and that's all you'll ever know.

Learn to grow up. You used to think it was amazing that I could cook dinner from scratch. Anyone can. You're just lazy. No wonder your ex-boyfriend of four months gave you a cookbook for Valentine's Day. Speaking of which, how dare you even compare your ex-boyfriend to my boyfriend? First of all, we have been together for over a year and a half, probably more than any of your relationships added up. Second of all, your ex-boyfriend dropped out, or I'm sorry, he took a year off of college. He's cheated on his ex-girlfriends. He hooked up with some girl a week after he broke up with you. He was just as ignorant as you. And you had the nerve to attack my boyfriend, to call him up and lecture him? After all he's done not just for me, but for you too?

I work for what I have. You graduated one semester before me, and I still landed a better job before you did. I live and work in one of the best places in the City of Chicago and I did it without anyone's help. I know you think your job makes you some sort of a white savior, but you're honestly not helping anyone but your ego.

Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys

2010-08-24T16:11:00.003-05:00

Below is an e-mail that we received in the general inbox at work:

====================================================

From: Jeff Brady [mailto:news@ascotmedia.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 1:40 PM
To: ----------
Subject: Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys

Dear ------------- :

So many men are fed up with their ‘man boobs’ (‘moobs’). Even women often wish something could be done. The nation will definitely want to hear about this new, quick, and safe procedure, so we would be grateful if you could read the press release below and help us pass this information on. The doctor behind this life-changing procedure has appeared on numerous media outlets. If you are interested in arranging an interview with Dr. Johnson, please contact me directly. Thank you.

Regards,

Jeff Brady
Brady Media Group
15455 N. Dallas Pkwy. Ste.600
Addison, TX 75001
jeff@bradymediagroup.com
Office: (214) 265-5670
Direct: (214) 403-8848
www.bradymediagroup.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys - and the men from the men with ‘moobs’

Addison, TX, August 24, 2010 - Women are not the only ones concerned about cup size anymore. Now men can quickly and safely have their breasts, or ‘moobs,’ reduced. Dr. Bill Johnson of Innovations Medical offers a procedure to eliminate extra fat from and tighten the skin of the pectoral area. When the fat is gone, so are the moobs. Minus moobs, men look and feel much better.

The strictest diets and exercise regimes cannot conquer all moobs: this procedure can. The old stigma of men seeking cosmetic enhancement is gone. Moob reduction was among the most popular elective surgeries in 2009, says the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. Dr. Johnson combines VibroLipo (Tickle liposuction) with SmartLipo to effectively combat the most stubborn moobs, also known as gynecomastia. The recovery period is brief - most patients can return to work the next day. They feel better about their bodies just as soon.

Innovations Medical’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Bill Johnson, has been serving patients in the Texas area since 1984. His extensive experience with state-of-the-art aesthetic medicine technologies dates from their clinical trials, so he is known as an expert on many procedures. This quick and safe procedure, among various others, can be done at either of Dr. Johnson’s conveniently located offices. Contact his caring, knowledgeable, and discreet staff for more information or to schedule a free consultation today. Learn more about this innovative doctor and his procedures at: http://www.innovationsmedical.com.

###

Monday Morning

2010-08-23T08:39:00.003-05:00

I had a dream that I was at a mall with my mother and my brother. It was getting toward lunch time and they brought out a potato salad with bits of ham in it. In my dream, I was so upset that there was meat in the food. As a vegetarian, I don't eat meat. However, if there is meat in the dish, I will try to pick around it out of practicality. However, dream-Iris was just so frustrated about always picking out meat that the potato salad was the last straw. I walked all the way back to my studio and my brother followed me and said, see I'll just pick it out for you; it's not difficult.

And then I woke up.

This may be quite a stretch but this is how I will connect it to my real life: I make these life decisions and I always have trouble getting people, especially my family, to take me seriously about them. It's not a very good feeling, you know? And shutting out your family members because of a disagreement is the easy way out. It's not something I agree with. It's not something I would want my future family to do to me. My family sometimes has a difficult time accepting what is important in my life. It doesn't make me love them any less but it does make me dislike them, especially their lack of tolerance.

I, as well as many others, feel that this is why I cannot return to the Church. Too many people have decided not to accept my life decisions and play them off as jokes. You may think I am being petty here, but if someone cannot accept something small about you, how do you expect them to accept the rest of you? If they think something important to you is a joke, how do you expect them to take you seriously?

I have been told that I am extremely vague, that I run people in circles, that I frustrate people out of my own frustration. I suppose that is what I am doing now.

Friday Afternoon

2010-08-20T14:35:00.004-05:00

It's Friday afternoon, two hours until I can pack up my things and start my weekend. The Cherry Coke I bought at lunch is not holding up its end of the caffeine bargain. Why else would I pay $2.10 for 20 fl. oz. of carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and CAFFEINE? And the 7Eleven closest to my work is remodeling, delaying many purchases.

Mmm...phosphoric acid...

I am finding joy in colored paper clips, especially the green ones for unknown reasons. I feel like I cleaned my desk last week and now it's all messy again. Why must this happen? I often feel like a small child when I am with my co-workers. This week is jeans week which means every day is casual Friday. Today I am wearing my sneaker flats and my blue jellyfish skirt, a white tshirt, and a zipped hoodie. So yeah, I look like a small child too. Many of my co-workers have children who are not much younger than I am. It's weird. I feel small.

The internet in my studio was down this morning. It only took Comcast less than one month to fail. Oh, Comcast. Why do I pay you so much money for such shitty service? I guess I am at fault (as always).

Recycling, Part II

2010-08-19T13:53:00.004-05:00

Two Thursdays ago, I e-mailed my building manager about recycling. Last Thursday, I checked my e-mail and did not see any response from him. That same day, I printed out the e-mail and dropped it in the slot where we can put our rent or a quick note to have something fixed. Now, I have not heard back from anyone about recycling. By the end of this week, I will call the building manager about recycling. If he does not answer, I will call the other man who is in charge of building maintenance.

Chicago Municipal Code requires buildings with more than five units to have recycling if anyone in the building wants it. Since there are four floors where I live, I am pretty sure there are more than five units.

If I continue to get no response from the building manager and maintenance, I will 1) ask my neighbors to join me and ask for recycling and/or 2) look for a private company to take my recycling.

This is pretty annoying.

Going to Asia

2010-08-16T16:06:00.003-05:00

A lot of people go to Asia to teach English. Usually, it's because they are at some sort of crossroads. They aren't sure if they should pursue more education or find a full time job. Maybe they just want to travel.

The weird thing to me is when they go but refuse to immerse themselves in the culture. It's like they are saying, I came into your country to teach you about MY language and MY culture, but I do not want to learn about yours. It annoys me a little. What's the point in telling people you went to an Asian country to teach English if you didn't learn anything from it?

And that's my rant for the day.

Furniture

2010-08-16T14:54:00.005-05:00

I bought a bookcase yesterday ($15, Walmart) and a kitchen cart from a Napervillain ($20, Craigslist). Smaller items included a shoe rack (holds 9 pairs; $4, Walmart) and full size bedsheets ($6, Walmart). I am almost done furnishing my studio. I just need a few more things and then to organize it.

WONDERFUL.

Sleep, Pt II

2010-08-10T08:33:00.003-05:00

This post is an echo of Sleepy from 6/28/10, and quite possibly also an echo of every blog post I have ever written.

My left eye has been twitching for about maybe three to four weeks. It's very annoying. Well, it's not

-Oh, very good. Just got an e-mail about flu shots at work. I'll have to get one lest I start coughing and sneezing and headaching and feeling ICK.-

like my eye itself is twitching. It's like the area under my eye. You know, the home to the dark circles. Oh geez. So it's been twitching and I can't get it to stop for more than a day or two. I have tried to avoid my computer screen at home, but I obviously can't do that at work.

Anyway. Sleepy. It's like, even if I sleep at a decent time, I'm still exhausted in the morning. How does that happen? Maybe today will be a coffee day.

Also, I really need to acquire a kitchen cart. Cooking (more like thinking of cooking) in such a tiny kitchen is slightly infuriating and altogether irritating and discouraging. Lastly, I crave pizza. I think Favian's pizza addiction is growing on me. And in turn, I am growing too. Ahhhh...!

Othello

2010-08-06T14:15:00.000-05:00

It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul.
Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars,
It is the cause. Yet I’ll not shed her blood,
Nor scar that whiter skin of hers than snow
And smooth as monumental alabaster.
Yet she must die, else she’ll betray more men.
Put out the light, and then put out the light.
If I quench thee, thou flaming minister,
I can again thy former light restore
Should I repent me. But once put out thy light,
Thou cunning’st pattern of excelling nature,
I know not where is that Promethean heat
That can thy light relume. When I have plucked thy rose
I cannot give it vital growth again,
It must needs wither. I’ll smell thee on the tree.
Oh, balmy breath, that dost almost persuade
Justice to break her sword! One more, one more.
Be thus when thou art dead and I will kill thee
And love thee after. (kissing her) One more, and that’s the last.
So sweet was ne'er so fatal. I must weep,
But they are cruel tears. This sorrow’s heavenly,
It strikes where it doth love. She wakes.

Act V, Scene II, 1-23

Recycling

2010-08-05T14:21:00.002-05:00

I sent an e-mail today to my building manager prompting him to set up recycling.

A Reflection on My Father and His Lists

2010-08-03T10:41:00.005-05:00

I remember my father teaching me about putting money into different envelopes for savings and spending when I was in junior high. When I started driving, he made sure I filled in his spreadsheet--the date I filled up the gas tank, how much it cost, the mileage, etc. My father is also a great record keeper. Little doodles I made, scribbles between my brother and me, my school pictures, report cards, congratulations cards when I was born-they are all saved in a file. Every family member has a folder with all of our records. And as we have all grown older, my father keeps these files to a lesser extent. He passes on letters regarding to our mutual fund to us and hands over our passports and social security cards.

On Saturday, I moved out of my three and a half apartment of two years and moved into a studio for one. I bought cleaning supplies and toiletries and all sorts of household necessities. I inherited my father's love for lists and keeping order and have decided to keep a record of all the things I buy so I can see how often I need to replace these items. For example, I bought an eighteen pack of toilet paper on Sunday and I hope to not have to buy more for a while.

And now this post will end because I don't know what else to say and I need to get back to work.

Re-Post from Post Secret

2010-07-28T09:51:00.003-05:00

.

Sigh.

Restless

2010-07-27T16:00:00.002-05:00

Work is usually very busy. I have an endless to-do list, multiple meetings every week, people to answer to, manuscripts to process, e-mails to write, etc. There are days, though, where I just feel restless. Time is going by slowly--usually I have so much to do, I don't want the work day to end.

I had a late lunch today. I left around 12:50, walked around Marshalls and went to Nordstrom mall. I came back around 2pm. It's only been two hours later and I feel like three days have passed. It's pretty annoying.

And my computer is hating the printer right now, which adds to the frustration and slowness of the day.

A Letter

2010-07-19T10:51:00.004-05:00

Dear Author,

You are a doctor. You went to college, to med school. You did your residency. You now have over twenty years experience. You are, no doubt, a smart cookie.

So why did you think it was appropriate to plagiarize your own work and submit it to The Journal? In our guidelines, in all our letters to you, we make it clear that you cannot submit something that has already been published. Your eyes must have skimmed over that bit of information. Something inside your head said, oh no, this is not the same article, they will accept it because I am brilliant.

Well, Doctor, you can be brilliant. You can change lives, heal people, heal their scars. But your brilliance is nothing if you don't have honesty and integrity.

Lastly, you piss me off even more because I had to process your manuscript along with nineteen high resolution images.

Sincerely yours,
IYL