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Tuesday, August 31, 2010 :: Too Bad
People who have the best intentions and are the nicest people can still make the most ignorant comments...and they don't even mean it.

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Thursday, August 26, 2010 :: Dear Ex-Roommate,
I'm so glad you are not in my life anymore. Is it even a wonder that you have never left a roommate situation on a positive note? Even people who I know did not have the best intentions for me warned me about you, and we were all supposedly friends at the time. But now you live with some guy whose girlfriend hates you. You can steal his cereal, his shower rings, his garbage can, his food, his time, his money.

I know you think you're living a fantastic life, but babe, living in Humboldt Park, working in a bad neighborhood, driving a car that you've gotten way too many parking tickets on, taking online classes, spending hundreds of dollars on booze, and sleeping with disgusting, ugly white boys you don't even love is not a fantastic life.

And all these things you think is amazing is all paid for by your daddy. Why? Because you're a North Shore brat, just like the ones you hate. Your father drives all the way from one of the richest suburbs in the area to drop off one dress for you and then drives back. Did you know that the median income in your hometown is twice as much as it is in mine? Do you know how fortunate you are? Do you even know? And it is ridiculous to think you are so cultured. Your hometown also has twice as many white people as mine. Do you see a trend here? Don't tell me how poor you and your family are. My parents came to this country with two pieces of luggage, literally. Your parents were born here, into a comfortable place. When we all moved in together, I was working two jobs. You were fired from two.

When you've said ignorant things to me in the past, like telling me that my Asian food smells bad or that you welcome me to America, I felt bad for you. When you think you're a minority where you work or where you went to school, I think you're just insane. Do you understand that there is NO SUCH THING as a "token white person" here? Do you get that when you tell minorities that you yourself are a minority, how ridiculous you are? Do you even comprehend what it feels like to feel to not belong because you have a different skin tone and your eyes have a different shape and your last name isn't Anglo-Saxon? As much as you boast about knowing different cultures and having friends from all ethnic groups, you hang out with a bunch of white kids from the suburbs, and that's all you'll ever know.

Learn to grow up. You used to think it was amazing that I could cook dinner from scratch. Anyone can. You're just lazy. No wonder your ex-boyfriend of four months gave you a cookbook for Valentine's Day. Speaking of which, how dare you even compare your ex-boyfriend to my boyfriend? First of all, we have been together for over a year and a half, probably more than any of your relationships added up. Second of all, your ex-boyfriend dropped out, or I'm sorry, he took a year off of college. He's cheated on his ex-girlfriends. He hooked up with some girl a week after he broke up with you. He was just as ignorant as you. And you had the nerve to attack my boyfriend, to call him up and lecture him? After all he's done not just for me, but for you too?

I work for what I have. You graduated one semester before me, and I still landed a better job before you did. I live and work in one of the best places in the City of Chicago and I did it without anyone's help. I know you think your job makes you some sort of a white savior, but you're honestly not helping anyone but your ego.

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Tuesday, August 24, 2010 :: Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys
Below is an e-mail that we received in the general inbox at work:

====================================================

From: Jeff Brady [mailto:news@ascotmedia.com]
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 1:40 PM
To: ----------
Subject: Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys



Dear ------------- :

So many men are fed up with their ‘man boobs’ (‘moobs’). Even women often wish something could be done. The nation will definitely want to hear about this new, quick, and safe procedure, so we would be grateful if you could read the press release below and help us pass this information on. The doctor behind this life-changing procedure has appeared on numerous media outlets. If you are interested in arranging an interview with Dr. Johnson, please contact me directly. Thank you.

Regards,

Jeff Brady
Brady Media Group
15455 N. Dallas Pkwy. Ste.600
Addison, TX 75001
jeff@bradymediagroup.com
Office: (214) 265-5670
Direct: (214) 403-8848
www.bradymediagroup.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Dr. Johnson separates the men from the boys - and the men from the men with ‘moobs’

Addison, TX, August 24, 2010 - Women are not the only ones concerned about cup size anymore. Now men can quickly and safely have their breasts, or ‘moobs,’ reduced. Dr. Bill Johnson of Innovations Medical offers a procedure to eliminate extra fat from and tighten the skin of the pectoral area. When the fat is gone, so are the moobs. Minus moobs, men look and feel much better.

The strictest diets and exercise regimes cannot conquer all moobs: this procedure can. The old stigma of men seeking cosmetic enhancement is gone. Moob reduction was among the most popular elective surgeries in 2009, says the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. Dr. Johnson combines VibroLipo (Tickle liposuction) with SmartLipo to effectively combat the most stubborn moobs, also known as gynecomastia. The recovery period is brief - most patients can return to work the next day. They feel better about their bodies just as soon.

Innovations Medical’s Chief of Staff, Dr. Bill Johnson, has been serving patients in the Texas area since 1984. His extensive experience with state-of-the-art aesthetic medicine technologies dates from their clinical trials, so he is known as an expert on many procedures. This quick and safe procedure, among various others, can be done at either of Dr. Johnson’s conveniently located offices. Contact his caring, knowledgeable, and discreet staff for more information or to schedule a free consultation today. Learn more about this innovative doctor and his procedures at: http://www.innovationsmedical.com.

###

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Monday, August 23, 2010 :: Monday Morning
I had a dream that I was at a mall with my mother and my brother. It was getting toward lunch time and they brought out a potato salad with bits of ham in it. In my dream, I was so upset that there was meat in the food. As a vegetarian, I don't eat meat. However, if there is meat in the dish, I will try to pick around it out of practicality. However, dream-Iris was just so frustrated about always picking out meat that the potato salad was the last straw. I walked all the way back to my studio and my brother followed me and said, see I'll just pick it out for you; it's not difficult.

And then I woke up.

This may be quite a stretch but this is how I will connect it to my real life: I make these life decisions and I always have trouble getting people, especially my family, to take me seriously about them. It's not a very good feeling, you know? And shutting out your family members because of a disagreement is the easy way out. It's not something I agree with. It's not something I would want my future family to do to me. My family sometimes has a difficult time accepting what is important in my life. It doesn't make me love them any less but it does make me dislike them, especially their lack of tolerance.

I, as well as many others, feel that this is why I cannot return to the Church. Too many people have decided not to accept my life decisions and play them off as jokes. You may think I am being petty here, but if someone cannot accept something small about you, how do you expect them to accept the rest of you? If they think something important to you is a joke, how do you expect them to take you seriously?

I have been told that I am extremely vague, that I run people in circles, that I frustrate people out of my own frustration. I suppose that is what I am doing now.

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Friday, August 20, 2010 :: Friday Afternoon
It's Friday afternoon, two hours until I can pack up my things and start my weekend. The Cherry Coke I bought at lunch is not holding up its end of the caffeine bargain. Why else would I pay $2.10 for 20 fl. oz. of carbonated water, high fructose corn syrup, caramel color, phosphoric acid, natural flavors, and CAFFEINE? And the 7Eleven closest to my work is remodeling, delaying many purchases.

Mmm...phosphoric acid...

I am finding joy in colored paper clips, especially the green ones for unknown reasons. I feel like I cleaned my desk last week and now it's all messy again. Why must this happen? I often feel like a small child when I am with my co-workers. This week is jeans week which means every day is casual Friday. Today I am wearing my sneaker flats and my blue jellyfish skirt, a white tshirt, and a zipped hoodie. So yeah, I look like a small child too. Many of my co-workers have children who are not much younger than I am. It's weird. I feel small.

The internet in my studio was down this morning. It only took Comcast less than one month to fail. Oh, Comcast. Why do I pay you so much money for such shitty service? I guess I am at fault (as always).

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